Fabulously Crabby Friend: Ha! It's not just science fiction. And let this be a lesson to you. Next time I aim for a more populated area!
Me: We concede, your worshipfulness! How may we placate you?
Me: <places cheesecake and martinis on the altar and slowly backs away>
FCF: You shall be spared. Possibly promoted. (Depending on how delicious this cheesecake is....)
. . .
FCF: [voice somewhat muffled by mouthful of cheesecake] Henceforth, Torah Cottrill shall be appointed Grand High Inquisitor. ASIDE: What shall your first edict be?
Me: Those who tailgate shall be struck by lightning, and their charred bodies impaled on mile markers as a warning for others.